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![]() Midgets, midgets, midgets! I love midgets! There's just something about those little people that causes me to stare in awe everytime one crosses my path! Dwarf's are cool too. Dwarf's are the little people that are all fucked up. Some have big torso's, some have long-ass legs, big heads, you get the picture. Midgets are little copies of actual people, and are correctly preportioned. I like both midgets and dwarves, but i think my favorites are midgets. I eat up any stories or information on midgets i can get my habds on. They're sooo cool! My head's just swimming with midget facts. Did you know:
I think my fascination with midgets began with a 5th grade obsession for the T.V. show Twin Peaks. Twin Peaks is the greatest show to ever bless the idiot box. Ever since some stupid asshole canceled the show i've hardly watched any T.V. at all. Twin Peaks is a creation of the brilliant David Lynch, and had this cool little midget as a co-star. The midget was called "Little man from another place". The midget always wore platform orthopedic shoes and a little red suit. He'd appear in the main character's dreams all the time. They played his voice backwards whenever he talked, giving him an weird ass voice which required subtitles. I tuned in every week in hopes of catching a glimpse of this famous deformity. He wasn't on every show, so i started to actually watch the shows, and i got hooked. I think David used the midget on purpose just to get people to tune in. Regretfully, my life has not been blessed with an over-abundance of midget sightings. The only real life interaction i ever had before recently was with a single midget. The midget was a boy, and he worked at a Suncoast in the mall. Everytime i went to the mall, i had to walk by the store and see if he was working. Whenever he was, i'd spy on him and watch him work. It was comically fascinating. When he wasn't there, i'd get sad and bitch. I observed this midget for a long time before actually getting the nerve to talk to him. I limited our conversation to made up questions about the location of this or that. I was always in the mall watching him. This gave me a bad reputation with the midget, and he'd hide when i came around. I think he should have been fired for this because it's only obvious that Suncoast, like David Lynch, was only using him to draw people in. He acted like he actually worked there or something. Midgets are smart, and i'm sure he had to know he was just an attraction. He couldn't get to the movies that most 6 year old's could, and he had to use a stepping stool to operate the cash register. He was a bad midget. He tried to act like a big person. He did this by wearing clothing other than osh-kosh bigosh. He would wear minature Guess Jeans, little Polo and Tommy Hillfigure shirts, and minature Fila shoes. He did his hair like a preppy and acted sofisticated. If you're reading this midget i just want you to know that you didn't fool me! No sir! You're still a midget! I recently had to move, and i left the suburbs of Detroit, Michigan for the permafrost and tundra of Detroit Lakes, Minnesota. The midget, and all my friends, stayed behind. I was sad, but things would change. You may say that I'm obsessed and sick in the head. Well that's okay, because everyone who knows me says the same thing. Your point would be proven even more so if you knew how excited i was to discover Detroit Lakes booming midget population. My previous school had a midget population of zero, but things are different here. There's lots of short people and those who would fall into the almost a midget category here. Most importantly, there's one midget, and as a bonus, a dwarf!!! Two freaks isn't exactly considered a lot of freaks in most areas, but the population of D.L. makes the midget/dwarf to human ratio much higher. Both these itty-bitties are female. The midget is dwarf like and kind of tall, but i still consider her a midget. The dwarf is really ugly with looong-ass legs. She's tall too, but that's just because of her unpreportioned features. Both are fun to watch, and the midget's locker isn't even ten feet from mine!!! There's lots of retarded people here too. I think the town is built on a toxic waste dump or something. I regard midgets and dwarves as inferior. I am not racist, sexist, or homophobic, but midgets are obviously not as good as tall people. I would love to have on for a pet. I'd take a midget over a monkey! If you have any cool stories you can send them to me. I'd like to hear from midgets too, and i'll just regard their hatemail as a joke. They don't know any better! So keep a look out for these creatures on all your future travels, and have a laugh for me!
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