in the dark

I was scrolling around the site today, and I noticed how long it took for someone to go through everything that I have posted. About 3 minutes. Then, I got to thinking about how long it takes for someone with a 14-4 modem to connect. Yes, just about 3 minutes. To me, this means that anyone with enough courage to wait the painful three minutes to connect should at least have 4 minutes of reading pleasure. That brings me to this, my latest contribution.

It is really hard for me to go on and on, column after column, and type aimlessly about my life. It just isn't that interesting. There are thousands of kids around the country who fit my mold - poor, college attending weirdo-freaks. Here in America, most kids between the ages of 18-25 are not the same, don't get me wrong, but they're all used to the same kinds of common occurrences - McDonald's, wide-open spaces, a common language, and a lot less pressure than kids elsewhere have.

Right now, you the reader, may be wondering where the hell I'm going with this. A moment ago I decided to shift the topic of this column to something that I find confusing, fascinating, flabbergasting and a whole bunch of other adjectives. LIFE OUTSIDE OF AMERICA!!!

Over Christmas break I flew across the Atlantic to visit with our neighbor to the east, Europe. Specifically, Germany. A good friend of mine, a gal by the name of Kathrin lives there. She was an exchange student at Sturgis High School my senior year. Kathrin is from a small village in Germany known as Heddesheim. It's much smaller than the tiny burg of Sturgis, located in lower Michigan. Sturgis has a population of about 10,000. There is one BIG difference about the two towns, however. Unlike Sturgis, Heddesheim is a hop, skip and a jump away from the larger town of Mannheim. By tram, Mannheim is about 5 minutes from Heddesheim. Mannheim, in size, compares to that of my native Kalamazoo, which includes the surrounding area of Portage and is home to about 150,000. From Sturgis, Kalamazoo is a forty-minute drive. With that many people, it's funny how little there is to do here.

The above is mainly statistical bullshit, but it is semi-important to the point which I will eventually make. (I tend to talk out of my ass quite a bit.) Even if one would compare Kalamazoo/Sturgis to Mannheim/Heddesheim, another fact still needs to be brought forth. Germany, in land size, roughly compares to that of Colorado. Over 80 million people make their home in this limited space. There are only 260 million people in the U.S.

A good question would be - what the hell are we doing with all of this space? We do tend to take it for granted. Although I only spent a short time in Germany, (14 days), I had one of the most severe cases of claustrophobia ever diagnosed. I could not even fathom how efficient these people were. They all but lived on top of each other. Every car I came in contact with was a compact version of a Mercedes-Benz, BMW, or Volkswagen. The sidewalks were more narrow, the houses weren't houses at all. The "strasses" were constructed in a row - with six to eight houses connected by an outside wall. Each house was three or four stories high, and were no wider than absolutely necessary. "Lawns" were ten by ten areas of sod plopped down behind each house. It was like living in a big doll house.

Here in the states, we live in big houses with vast lawns and large cars. We are free to frolic about like savages, not a care in the world. I get confused sometimes. Now, it's easy to accept and justify the plethora of differences by simply stating that it's another country, and the standards of living should not be questioned. But, alas, I am not questioning as much as I am attempting to influence Americans to pay closer attention. I will follow that up with a few examples.

For instance…take McDonald's. In America, if you order a Big Mac extra value meal for the dining room, you receive a burger located in a paper container, a paper cup housing the soft drink of your choice, usually stuffed with ice, sealed with a plastic lid. The french fries come in a cardboard fold-out package. Typical, correct? You take your meal over to the condiment island, grab a handful of napkins and a straw, along with those little plastic ketchup holders to fill and smear your fries in. This is normal. Now we will look at the German ordering and receiving procedures for McDonald's.

You order and receive the same meal - with minor noticeable differences. The Big Mac comes in a paper wrapper, not a container. The fries are given in the same cardboard holder, and the drink in the same plastic cup. However, there are NO straws, and no lid. Also, there is no ice. And no ketchup. If you would like ice or the gushy red stuff, you must order them for an additional charge. Why, you ask?

For one reason. According to the sketchy details that Kathrin and her parents were able to provide me, the German government has outlawed the overuse of plastic. Their efforts to recycle everything possible was not only noticeable, but amazing. Some Americans have the impression that Germans are just unintelligent people who party constantly and drink an outlandish amount of alcohol. Obviously, it has been the impression of those who visited from America who came up with that one. If the silly bastards would have stayed sober enough to look around, they would see a culture that is one of the most responsible on earth.

The school system is not only challenging, but far superior to that of the United States. As a kid raised through the American school system, I can say that I would rather have been brought up in America, only because of how lazy I am. If I had the option of starting a family and raising children, I would non-hesitantly do so in Europe - Germany if possible.

It baffles me how American teachers can brag to students about how we are 1st in literacy…blah, blah, blah. Nothing could be further from the truth. America's test scores suck. Currently, I believe that we're either 13th or 14th in literacy - something that doesn't surprise me. I am the first in my family to attend a university, and it would surprise me if I don't flunk out or quit before I graduate. My father cannot read. Problems such as these are right under our nose. It's nuts. Anyway, I'm pretty much done going off about absolutely nothing that makes any sense, but I feel a little better and I'm sick of typing. Sorry I didn't really accomplish anything, but I just thought you should know.

Brian Frain

Back to Brian's Section

New | Main | Music | Columns | D.I.Y. | Art | Zines | Contribute